Faith ([info]labile) wrote,
@ 2007-08-28 12:15:00
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Current mood: furious
Entry tags:rant

-cough-
I love the customer service shuffle.

dramatization

(fifteen minutes of elevator music.)

clueless A: T'ank y'u for calling -rantrantrantrant- may I have your account number?

me: (insert account number.)

clueless A: How may I halp y'u?

me: I switched from your company (A) to the company you merged with (B), and I was told the bill I had with you would be transferred to the new company. I don't receive paper bills because I paid my bills online, and when I canceled my account, I was no longer able to access my bill online from you. I never received a phone call, or a statement in the mail, and suddenly I have a collection agency calling me about something I thought was taken care of.

clueless A: Oh, y'u no right apartment. Stay online, I connect to company B.

(five minutes of elevator music.)

clueless B: Thank you for calling -rantrantrantrant- may I have your account number?

me: (insert account number.)

clueless B: How may I help you?

me: .. I switched from this company (B) to the company you merged with (A). I was told the bill I had would be transferred, but it wasn't. I never received notice, and suddenly I'm getting calls from a collection agency.

clueless B: Oh, you need finance department.

(three minutes of elevator music.)

clueless C: Thank you for calling -rantrantrantrant- may I have your account number?

me: .... .... (insert account number.)

clueless C: How may I help you?

me: .. I switched from company A to company B. I was told the bill would be transferred, but it wasn't. Give me answers!

clueless C: Oh, we can't transfer bills like that.

me: !$!@#$^ ?

clueless C: I'm sorry you were misinformed.

me: Well what are you going to do about it!?

clueless C: I can take your payment.

me: THAT DOESN'T HELP MY CREDIT.

clueless C: .. Well that's all I know how to do.

me: I WANT SOMETHING ELSE.

clueless C: I'll transfer you to customer care.

(five minutes of elevator music.)

somewhat helpful: Thank you for calling -rantrantrantrant- may I have your account number?

me: (INSERT ACCOUNT NUMBER AND HEAVY BREATHING.)

somewhat helpful: How may I help you?

me: BILL NOT TRANSFERRED. ME WANT FIX.

somewhat helpful: Oh, a request to transfer was never put in..

me: ... You mean to say, I asked for the bill to be transferred, you said it could be transferred, then you never submitted a request to transfer, told me it was impossible, and sent my bill to a collection agency?!

somewhat helpful: Yes, we can do that. I'm sorry you were misinformed.

me: THEN TRANSFER MY !#!@#! BILL.

somewhat helpful: Okay. The balance will show up on your next bill.

me: ... OKAY THEN.

somewhat helpful: We'll zero out this account and send a note to the collection agency.

me: THANK YOU. -click-


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[info]dannylam4
2007-08-28 04:45 pm UTC (link)
I'm not sure what I love more, the service shuffle or the tech support starting phrases/questions. What happened to me once was the tech support guy actually pasted into the conversations:

"I apologize for ((issue)), ((name)). I know frustrating these thing’s can be. I will do anything in my power to assist you in resolving this issue today ."

And then there's always the question of "are you currently on the system we're chatting with?" even when you have issues like you can't start up your computer.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]labile
2007-08-28 04:47 pm UTC (link)
Hahaha... yeah, they did that too. xD

(Reply to this) (Parent)
"Customer service, how may we ruin your life today?"
[info]blakeemrys
2007-08-28 04:56 pm UTC (link)
Count yourself lucky if it ends there. When my wife goes to the hospital (which is unfortunately more often than most people, but that's a story for another day) we always make sure her name is spelled right since it's a little odd.

Then, some well-meaning soul in the billing department sees "Kelli" and assumes it must be a typo. They'll change it to Kellie, Kelly, or any other variation you can think of. This means that her name no longer matches our insurance records, which is of course something that insurance companies love because it means they don't have to pay any bills.

So a couple of months later we get a huge bill for someone who doesn't exist. I call, tell them I'll pay when they learn to spell, and they promise to fix it. A month after that I get a huge bill from a collection agency, again for someone who doesn't exist. I call them, tell them I would be happy to pay the bill if I only knew who this "Kelly" person was, and would they kindly remind the hospital that if they had spelled my wife's name correctly in the first place they would have gotten their money 3 months ago because the insurance would have paid it in the first place.

I never get 2 calls from the same collection agency.

Thought I'd share.

(Reply to this) (Thread)
Re: "Customer service, how may we ruin your life today?"
[info]labile
2007-08-28 05:03 pm UTC (link)
oh dear lord... X___x -hug-

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: "Customer service, how may we ruin your life today?"
[info]blakeemrys
2007-08-28 06:28 pm UTC (link)
Gah, sorry - didn't mean for that to come across like a "mine's worse" comment. I need to reread what I write more often.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
Re: "Customer service, how may we ruin your life today?"
[info]wulfiesacolyte
2007-08-29 07:31 pm UTC (link)
But it's okay if it really is worse x.x Dealing with CCs is annoying, dealing with hospitals is serious.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]rosesnthorns65
2007-08-28 05:40 pm UTC (link)
Oh, goodness.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]labile
2007-08-30 04:06 am UTC (link)
inorite??

>>

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]rosesnthorns65
2007-08-30 04:19 am UTC (link)
Wha...?

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[info]labile
2007-08-30 04:43 am UTC (link)
nothin'. -hug- :D

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[info]rosesnthorns65
2007-08-30 04:50 am UTC (link)
Yay! A hug! Those are rare during my summer...

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]labile
2007-08-30 04:56 am UTC (link)
Aww. well then, -gives you many many hugs so you can stock up on them.- ^_^

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]rosesnthorns65
2007-08-30 02:05 pm UTC (link)
Brilliant!

(Oh, and I'm sure you've heard this a lot lately, but when's the next little onna-chance comic thing coming?)

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]lulong
2007-08-28 07:14 pm UTC (link)
Oh, I hope this gets all fixed for you!!!

*hugs*

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]labile
2007-08-30 04:06 am UTC (link)
thank you. x_x -hug-

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]thedeathbolt
2007-08-29 01:53 am UTC (link)
Jeez, it's stuff like that that makes me not want to grow up, too many issues with money. Oh well, off to Neverland.

Good luck with your account stuff, hopefully no one will screw things this time ^_^

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]wulfiesacolyte
2007-08-29 07:32 pm UTC (link)
my exact sentiments every time my mother made me balance her checkbook for her x.x

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]thedeathbolt
2007-08-30 12:07 am UTC (link)
Ick, balancing checkbooks. I've never had to do it, but I hear it's a pain in the neck. For what reason were you required to do your mother's checkbook?

I wonder if there's a secret option of going to Neverland or some other magical place where you never have to grow up.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]wulfiesacolyte
2007-08-30 05:52 am UTC (link)
she said to teach me the value of a dollar, i say because she was too lazy to do it herself :p
but i never write checks anyway, I just use my cards or cash, so it doesn't matter XD yay technology

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]labile
2007-08-30 04:07 am UTC (link)
heh, thanks. ^^;;

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]linear_bluedust
2007-08-29 03:02 pm UTC (link)
at least you got to talk to real people. the robotic people are worse.

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=91736895&blogID=274211972&Mytoken=DEB5A3EB-0535-4D40-AAFEC591A894940743534898

and thats not a dramatization -.-

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]labile
2007-08-30 04:09 am UTC (link)
oh, ick. x_X

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]wulfiesacolyte
2007-08-29 07:30 pm UTC (link)

*dies laughing* now I can't get the image of cavewoman Angel out of my head XD

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